Being Mary Bennet Blows Read online

  “You did great, Mar— I mean, MB.” He grinned as he held the gate open to let me go in front of him down the walkway back to the ground. “See? Just like I said.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t even—” I clapped a hand over my mouth before I confessed to puking on roller coasters. Maybe it had been a one-time thing, or something ten-year-olds do. Maybe I wasn’t a total loser. “I mean, it was fine.”

  “So, you wanna do the Orange Streak now? Or the Rock Bottom Plunge?”

  Neither? “Gee, hard to decide. The Log Chute went so well, I thought maybe that should be the model for our design. We don’t have to ride another one.”

  Josh waved the ride ticket in the air. “I already paid for the rides, and the Log Chute isn’t exactly a roller coaster.” As I started to protest, he held up a hand. “I mean, you still did great, and it’s kind of a roller coaster.”

  In a really lame-o way, I could tell by the look on his face. “So I haven’t actually gone on a roller coaster yet?”

  “No. I mean, yeah. Kind of.” He stumbled all over his words, which at least gave me the tiniest pinprick of hope that he didn’t have vast experience with girls.

  Not that I cared, of course.

  Accepting my fate, I looked around the amusement park, trying to figure out which of the rides I had the greatest likelihood of surviving. “Which rides were you talking about? The Orange Streak and the what?”

  “The Rock Bottom Plunge.” He pointed in the air, first to one and then the other. The Plunge really looked terrifying, but Josh obviously didn’t care whether I lived or died. “The Plunge shoots you straight up and down, with that upside-down loop.” He practically drooled as he watched the eight-person car whip around the tracks, but I counted four upside-down loops. Was he absolutely freaking crazy? “The Streak is more of a straight shot. I mean, with turns and all.”

  Puke City either way, but I’d puke upside-down on the Plunge. Ew!

  I took a deep breath, reminding myself I’d survived the Log Chute without hurling. What was I so worried about? Of course, there was one huge difference between these rides and the Log Chute. I’d have to sit next to Josh. But I didn’t have to screech or cling to him or puke.

  I could just have a nice, sweet, terrifying ride—while I bit my lip until the blood started dripping down my chin and onto my overalls—and be done with it.

  Oh, boy. “Let’s go with the Orange Streak.”

  Josh grinned. “Good choice. If you can believe it, I’ve actually seen some people puke on the Rock Bottom Plunge.”

  “No way.” My face was probably turning green, so I looked up at the aqua-green tracks of the Plunge. It seemed like the right color for something likely to induce vomiting. “But I guess these things happen.”

  Not to me. Not to me. Not to me.

  Please, God.

  “So what are we waiting for?” He grabbed my hand and tugged me in the direction of the Orange Streak.

  At least, I hoped it was the Streak. I didn’t have the faintest sense of direction inside the maze of the amusement park, especially when a guy I barely knew started holding my hand. Sure, it was just to get me to move my feet in the direction of a roller coaster I didn’t want to ride, but still. He was holding my hand!

  He let go of my hand after twenty feet, maybe because I was moving by then. Or maybe because a big pack of kids our age started toward us. I recognized one of them this time. Kyle, the huge guy from Physics. From the look of disgust on Kyle’s face as he flicked a glance from Josh to me, Kyle couldn’t believe Josh’s partner must be me.

  That made two of us.

  “Yo, Josh! Is that your Physics partner? Or are you on a date?” Kyle hauled up short ten feet away from us and gave an elbow to another huge guy next to him. It looked like the entire football team, along with a few twittering cheerleaders, and all of them were staring at me and laughing. Same old. And yet, not. I mean, I was used to getting this kind of abuse, but Josh didn’t deserve it.

  I took a step toward the group, my fists clenched, but Josh pulled me backward.

  He kept his hand on my arm when he finally answered Kyle. “Yeah, MB is my partner for the roller coaster project. So we’re checking out the roller coasters. Is that what you guys are doing, too?”

  Not likely. None of them—including Kyle—looked like the type to even take Physics, let alone get a running start on an assignment that wasn’t due for another month and a half. I seriously doubted that Kyle cracked a textbook, although maybe he wasn’t as dumb as he looked.

  No one could be that dumb.

  “MB?” Kyle frowned. “Isn’t that Mary Bennet? Like, the Mary Bennet?”

  Josh turned to me and acted like he was smiling, although his mouth looked more like a grim slash. “I guess your rep precedes you, MB. The Mary Bennet who aces every class.”

  I kept my voice low, trying to say it so just Josh could hear. “I don’t think that’s what he means by—”

  Kyle hulked closer, his posse staying so tight at his side that it felt like we might be stampeded any minute. “You’re not really hanging out with her, are ya, Josh? With her? You’re joking, right?”

  Josh took a few steps closer to Kyle. “You got a problem with it, Kyle? Why? You couldn’t find a partner?”

  “I wasn’t that desperate, man.”

  As the crowd around Kyle whistled and hooted, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I’d rather ride a roller coaster than stand here and have Kyle and his buddies make fun of me in front of Josh, who didn’t know enough not to hang out with me. No grade was that important.

  At least, not to a normal person.

  I turned to him but didn’t touch him on the arm or whatever. No need to draw more hoots from the crowd. “I should go, Josh. I’ll let you hang with your friends.”

  I walked away. And Josh didn’t follow.

  Except, well, he did. Color me stunned!

  “MB! Mary! Wait up!”

  I’d barely made it twenty feet away when the grab on my arm would’ve told me Josh was there even if he hadn’t just yelled my name loud enough for half the people in the park, including Kyle and his buddies, to hear.

  I turned slowly, wondering if Kyle and his posse were accosting me, too, or just Josh.

  Just Josh. “Why’d you take off like that?”

  I sighed. “I’m used to it, but it’s not your problem.”

  “What’s not?” He glanced down at his hand on my arm, frowned, and retrieved his hand. “Kyle is just pissed that I wouldn’t be his Physics partner, and none of his pals are in our class. Everyone else knows enough about Kyle to realize he wouldn’t exactly be an asset to any team.”

  I shrugged. “Except maybe the football team.”

  “His grades are barely decent enough to stay on the football team. I think he has a tutor.”

  “I thought they just did that for college football players.”

  “Or high school kids whose parents have the dough to hire tutors.” Josh stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “But it doesn’t explain why you cut and ran like that.”

  I bit my lip as I stared down at the ground. My hiking boots looked big and clunky and probably not even suitable for hiking. Unless we’re talking the Himalayas, maybe. Finally, I glanced back up at Josh, meeting his gaze for about two seconds before I stared back down at my boots. “Josh, it’s really decent of you to say you’d be my Physics partner, but you don’t have to. You’re just gonna get teased.”

  “So?” Josh waited until I looked back up at him, then grinned at me. He really didn’t have a clue. “Those guys would tease any girl and guy they saw together. They always totally assume it’s a date.”

  I wouldn’t know. “Even though it’s for homework.”

  “Yeah. A class assignment. Man, we’re really taking a bullet for the team, hanging out at the Mall of America on a Saturday, riding roller coasters, when we could’ve both stayed home and studied. Woo!”

  Even I had to laugh. “For me,
riding a roller coaster is like taking a bullet for the team. Possibly fatal.”

  “You’re doing just fine.” He glanced behind him, but Kyle and crew had apparently run out of ways to cut on me and left us alone. “So, you wanna ride the Orange Streak?”

  “If those guys see us together again, it’ll totally kill your rep. Really. I didn’t think about that when you asked me to be your Physics partner.” Okay, maybe I did, but all I’d cared about at that moment was that Josh had rescued me. I wouldn’t have to do the project alone and make up some imaginary partner. “I understand if you want to forget it.”

  Josh grabbed my arm. “Some girls will say anything to get out of riding a roller coaster with me. C’mon, MB. This is your lucky day.”

  I let him drag me through the park, but I didn’t have to like it. “I don’t think a lucky day and a roller coaster have anything in common. At least not for me.”

  Josh just grinned and kept walking. A couple of minutes later, we’d made it to the top of the stairs for the Orange Streak, and Josh again swiped the ticket twice through the reader. I couldn’t help wondering how he could be so totally clueless about what the other kids in school thought of me. If he actually knew, he’d be out of here faster than I could blink. Even if it meant pairing up with Kyle for Physics.

  Suddenly, though, I was face to face with the Orange Streak, and my mind went blank. Standing still, the bright-orange roller coaster with yellow stripes along the sides looked innocuous, but I’d watched it zip through the air all around the park and heard more than a few screams. Okay, maybe most of them were coming from the mouths of teenage girls who were using it as an excuse to cling to the guy they were riding with, but still. Not all girls acted like Cat or Lydia.

  Josh helped me into the seat, then climbed in next to me. The next moment was awkward and weird and, well, embarrassing. Pulling down the safety bar? Together? And squeezing even closer to each other?

  I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Josh didn’t put his arm around me or anything, which was probably good, but he kept his hands loose in his lap, as if he wasn’t hyperventilating over what he looked like or whether I was paying attention. In other words, the exact opposite of me.

  Why did I care, anyway? Josh was my Physics partner. We were riding the roller coasters only to get a good grade on our assignment. That’s all.

  Or so I kept telling myself.

  But he was really sweet—for a guy—and he talked to me and acted normal, and I guess I was getting used to the cute way his bangs hung in his eyes. Not that any of those thoughts helped me with the “what to do with my hands” thing.

  Do other girls actually obsess about stuff like this? Like, all the time?

  A bunch of other teenagers, and a few adults and younger kids, climbed in and filled up the long car, but luckily no one I knew. Or, at least, no one who was openly making fun of me. I bit my lip as the roller coaster started moving, slowly, but reminded myself that I’d made it through the Log Chute. I wasn’t ten anymore. I was seventeen, nearly eighteen, and sitting next to a guy. My entire life had changed.

  The roller coaster moved faster now, but I weathered the first turn, no problem. I felt a little weird by the third turn, though. By then, all worries about my hands or Josh’s hands were long gone. I definitely did not feel like clinging to him, but I also wasn’t screaming—in part because I was afraid of opening my mouth and watching something disgusting fly out of it.

  I felt this tiny burbling in my stomach. Maybe it was from the bubbles in the Diet Coke, but I hadn’t had more than a few sips. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I could do it. Even though my hands were clammy and my stomach was lurching and my face was probably starting to turn green, I could totally do it.

  And I did.

  Just when we’d made it past enough turns that I’d finally stopped counting, just when I thought the deep breathing might be working, just when I stopped worrying about Josh and those high-school kids who acted like I was a total joke, I barfed.

  Even worse? I barfed all over Josh.

  Chapter 5

  Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.

  — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Volume I, Chapter Two

  “Guys! You won’t believe what Mary was doing today at the Mall of America. What a riot!”

  The front door slammed and Cat’s voice trilled with the hilarity of it all.

  I stayed upstairs in my room, hunched on my bed with my arms wrapped tightly around my knees, but I was freshly scrubbed and laundered and smelling a lot better than I had an hour ago. Boris gave me a meandering, curious look from his usual perch on top of the ancient and beat-up armoire in the far corner of my room. Apparently, he didn’t want to risk getting squeezed half to death if he climbed onto my bed. Smart cat.

  I kept replaying the whole horror scene at the Mall of America, telling myself at least I’d had the Jeep. It let me slink out of the mall and ride home alone and not have to endure any more of the looks and laughs I’d gotten when people caught sight of the chunks of puke clinging to the front of me.

  I tried not to think about the dead silence I’d gotten from Josh.

  He hadn’t said anything at all. Not during the rest of the roller coaster ride, which felt like forever, or when we finally climbed out of the car. As the attendant rushed over to help us, Josh just gave me one long, totally disgusted look, as if he thought I was the slimiest pig in the universe. And walked away.

  Maybe Kyle finally has a Physics partner, because I definitely don’t anymore.

  Jane and Liz were holed up in their room, down the hall from me, and didn’t open the door even when Cat started running around the house trying to spill the news to a willing victim. Well, they’d hear soon enough. And so would every single student at Woodbury High, plus half the teachers.

  As if I didn’t have enough problems already.

  Cat finally made her way to my room and pushed open the door I’d left slightly ajar. I should’ve slammed and locked it and thrown away the key. But I didn’t have a lock or key, unfortunately, so I considered throwing myself out the window. I sighed. The screen made it too much of a hassle.

  “Is it true, Mary? About you and that guy?” Out of breath from her frantic zooming around the house, Cat wheezed. She must get even less exercise than I do. “Everyone was buzzing about it at the Mall of America today.”

  “I didn’t see you there.” Not that I’d answered Cat’s question, but the less I had to discuss my propensity to barf, even within my family, the better.

  Cat rolled her eyes. “I didn’t see you, either. But I heard about you. Everyone did.”

  “Really? Huh.” I picked up my copy of Demian and pretended to start reading. With Cat, showing interest in a book other than a comic book or graphic novel was usually enough to drive her out of a room.

  Not today, though. More bad luck. “Don’t you wanna know what I heard?”

  I glanced up from the book. “Not really. I mean, if it’s about me, I’m guessing I already know it. Since, like, it’s about me.”

  Cat frowned, as if she hadn’t thought of that. Which she probably hadn’t. Lydia might be wild and out of control and the person most likely to destroy her life—and Cat’s as well—but at least Lydia has half a brain. Having seen Cat’s grades, I suspect she has less than half a brain.

  Finally, Cat left my room without another word, and I let out a sigh of relief. Then I heard her pound on the door to the room that Jane and Liz shared.

  Based on the curses I heard coming out of Liz’s mouth, they didn’t exactly welcome her in, but Cat started blathering at them anyway. That’s the really cool thing about being clueless. Nothing stands in your way.

  Next thing I knew, the door slammed shut. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but someone—probably Liz—whistled, and everyone seemed to be laughing, undoubtedly about that pathetic Mary who pukes all over unsuspecting guys.

  But it wasn’t my fault! I warned
Josh, didn’t I?

  Okay, not exactly. I told him I didn’t do well with roller coasters, or hadn’t when I was younger. So maybe I didn’t specifically mention the part about barfing. But wasn’t that the obvious conclusion he should’ve reached? Ride a roller coaster with Mary Bennet and risk getting puked on?

  I threw Demian against my headboard, curled up in a ball, and silently debated whether I’d had some sort of ethical duty to warn Josh about my tendency to barf on roller coasters. Meanwhile, the laughter from the other room grew louder. In fact, it wasn’t coming from the other room anymore. It was coming from inside my room. I looked up to find Liz, Jane, and Cat at my door. Cat looked smug, and Liz was grinning wickedly. Even Jane—who’s usually more decent than the rest of my sisters—looked amused in a mildly sympathetic sort of way.

  Jane had hardly smiled in the months since Charlie broke things off with her, but if she wasn’t full-out grinning, at least her lips were twitching. I wondered if it’d been almost worth it to barf on Josh to get Jane smiling again.

  No.

  Liz spoke first. “So we hear you had a date today?”

  I frowned. That was what they’d heard? Come to think of it, that would be news around here. Jane hadn’t gone out with anyone since Charlie left last November, Liz hadn’t dated anyone for quite a while now, and I wasn’t sure about Cat. I mean, at most, Cat had the sort of “dates”—more like random hook-ups, or makeout sessions—that she thought I’d had today: with some nameless guy on the rides at the Mall of America.

  The difference between Cat and me, though, was that she probably didn’t barf all over the guy. Okay, she might slobber, but for some reason most people didn’t view that as totally disgusting. Go figure.

  I shrugged. “Nope. I didn’t have a date today.”

  Or ever, but I didn’t need to mention that. My sisters already knew it for a fact.

  Cat giggled. “I never said it was a date. All the kids were talking about you hooking up with some guy from school. They saw you together, like holding hands and making out and totally clinging together on the rides.”